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Unkle Munky Pg 106
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is playing with fire... Artist - We Start Fires. Song - Play You. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- Elvis Tribute. John from Wrexham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I was recently persuaded, by your bad self, to spend my hard-earned cash on a pair tickets for an Elvis tribute act called ‘Way Down.’ I am unable to conceal my disappointment any longer and was wondering if anyone else had raised any complaints regarding this sham of a show? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear John, I can only assume that you are unfamiliar with the work of Elvis Jones? Mr. Jones was highly regarded, not least, for his ability to work tirelessly for days-on-end down a Welsh coalmine. The tribute act of which you speak is easily one of the most authentic that I have seen to date. The only surreal moment for me was when members of the audience demanded that Mr. Jones sing 'Love me Tender' to a distressed canary. ---- Amy Knitwear. 'Unkle Munky says -' What the...? ---- Empire State Woman. Debbie from Dunston asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have long been labelled as ‘That extremely tall woman with a water cooler stuck up her arse.’ As you can imagine, I am growing very tired of said description and was wondering what advice you might have to give me? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Debbie, I am extremely busy at the moment but promise to answer your query regarding the unnecessary labelling of your condition very soon. In the meantime I have taken the liberty of putting you in the ''Exceptionally tall women with water coolers stuck up their arses'' pile. Debbie replies - Oh fer god's sake! You're as bad as the rest of them! ---- Bungle's Barely News. ---- Library Question. Angela from Solihull asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding the reluctance of my local library to supply a book that I specifically requested? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Angela, I have contacted the library in question and can indeed confirm that this book is unlikely to be made available at any time soon. The very nature of said publication leads my sources to believe that there is very little chance of it ever being returned within the allotted time. *Dead Penguin Publications. ---- Short Paws A short pause whilst Munky contemplates the plight of a lactose intolerant cow... ---- Another Complaint. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munk'y assistant) says - Dear Unkle Munky, I am receiving numerous complaints relating to the 'all expenses paid' skiing holiday competition that you recently ran.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' I fail to see any anomaly regarding said holiday competition, Ms. Sickness? ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - Expecting us to believe that the man in the picture was openly abducted by aliens, as he touched-down, may have some bearing on the complaints that I am currently receiving on your behalf!'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Ahem. I shall investigate these claims later, Mary. And now, if you don not mind, I have a skiing lesson. Good day! ---- Bungle's Barely Paralympic News (Beijing) ---- Out of Body - Out of Mind... Jenny from Leeds asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am currently writing a thesis on the subject of 'Out of body experiences'. With this in mind, I was wondering if you might be in a position to speak about your recent episode? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Jenny, I can indeed confirm that I am familiar with the phenomenon of which you speak. My own personal experience, however, was somewhat tainted by my body's reluctance to have me back! ''Mary Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Why does that not surprise me?''' '''Unkle Munky says -' Shut it, Mary! *Pictured - Escaping the restraints of your own body can sometimes reveal issues that wouldn't otherwise concern you. ---- Man on a Hill. ---- *Pictured: Colin the Lactose Intolerant Cow. ---- Next... Previous... Munky's Memos... Return to Munky Menu...